Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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