I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
home. puking in laundry basket.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
