I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
