I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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