I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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