Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
