Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
