is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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