Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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