Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
