FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
