We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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