is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize