He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
