It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
