why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
