HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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