I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
