i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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