she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize