Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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