yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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