butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
