dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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