Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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