I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
