she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
