I heard we made out
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
