i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
