I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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