yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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