HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
