I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
