im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
