Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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