do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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