I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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