the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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