Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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