It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
