mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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