Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
