I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think I sprained my soul last night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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