Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
