what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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