im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm both gender and math confused
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
