margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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