He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
