Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
