ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
