it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Found the puke drawer
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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