he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
