Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
