does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Randomize
