I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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