so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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