HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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