In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
