is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
