She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
