No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Found your dick twin last night
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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