that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
